Say What? Karaoke: Hogwarts Style
by SunshineAddict
Summary: Danielle Fishel and Steven Hill (host of MTV's Say What? Karaoke) bring Say What? Karaoke to our fav school.
1. Voldie sings about plastic boobs

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the one rolling in the riches. (excuse the pun) Nsync, Shaggy, TATU, Madonna, and some guy own the songs. Not Me! ATT: This contains some hilarious funnyness, so read at your own risk. I changed around SWK a lot, to fit the story, and so what if you don't like it... NO FLAMES!!! Summary: Danielle Fishel and Steven Hill bring in Say What? Karaoke to our favorite school.Hogwarts!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Say What Karaoke: Hogwarts Style  
  
Round 1  
  
Danielle: Hey ya'll!!!  
(crowd screams and claps) Danielle: This is Say What? Karaoke in England with a wizarding school named  
Hogwarts. Steven: Our judges are Albus Dumbledore for accuracy, Professor Severus Snape for overall performance, with Professor Minerva McGonagall for vocals!!!!  
  
Danielle: Our contestants are Harry Potter from Gryffindor, Draco Malfoy from Slytherin, Hermione Granger from Gryffindor, Professor Remus Lupin, and Lord Voldemort.  
  
Steven: Now we'll play a song and you have to sing it. Harry Potter. you're up first.  
  
(music starts)  
  
Harry: If I wasn't a celebrity  
Would you be so nice to me?  
If I couldn't have cheese like everyday  
Would you be so nice to me?  
If I couldn't by you diamond rings  
And all those other expensive things  
Would you be so into me?  
If I wasn't a celebrity-y-y  
  
Danielle: Ok, that was Harry Potter.Judges what do you say?  
  
Albus: It was very accurate I say, so I give you Mister Potter a nine.  
  
In Harry's mind: What I am supposed to be his favorite student?!?  
  
Prof. McG: You were very good, Mister Potter, so I'll give you an eight.  
  
In Harry's mind: I'm in her house, how could she!!!!  
  
Prof. Snape: You sucked, Potter, and I don't like you so you get a big fat ZERO!!  
  
In Harry's mind: Well, Duh!!  
  
Harry: O well, who cares. :::walks of stage and turns around::: Oh, and Snape.ever heard of shampoo?? And how about some moisturizer, God, I could take a bath in all that oil. Not that I'd want to, I'd like really ruin my perfect skin!!! ::::takes out a pocket mirror::: Oh. My. God. is that like a.ZIT!!!!!!!! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!  
  
Snape: Potter, you are expelled!!!  
  
Harry: Why? I only stated the truth.  
  
Snape: Nu-uh  
  
Harry: Yuh-huh  
  
Snape: Nu-uh  
  
Harry: Yuh-huh  
  
Snape: Nu-uh  
  
Harry: Yuh-huh infinity!!!  
  
Snape: Dang.ok,ok.  
  
Harry: Yay! I win, you lose!! mwahahaha :::hacks up a majorly large hairball:::  
  
(audience screams)  
  
Snape: What are you a cat?  
  
(Harry turns into a large cat and starts attacking Snape, both run off stage)  
  
Danielle: Ooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaay.anyways now we have Draco Malfoy from Slytherin.  
  
(music starts)  
  
Draco: Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel  
Closer than my peeps you are to me  
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel  
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady-y-y  
  
Steven: man you got in goin on, man! Not that I roll that way, o'course :::looks waaaaaaaay too long at McGonagall:::: anyways.let's hear from the judges. Albus: well, Draco, you were very accurate, but seeing as how you are in Slytherin, I give you a.2.  
  
Prof. McG: well, Mister Malfoy, you were excellent, but you are in Slytherin, so I give you a 4  
  
Prof. Snape: Slytherins Rule!!!! Ahem.sorry..anyways, Draco, I'll give you a ten, just because you aren't Potter, and you're actually quite decent.  
  
Danielle: :::makes googly eyes at Draco::: well up next we have Hermione Granger.  
(Music starts)  
  
Hermione: Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? All this weeping in the air, I can tell we're about to fall through floating forests in the air  
Across the rolling open sea  
Now I kiss and run through air, Leave the past find nowhere  
Floating forests in the air, Clowns all around you-oo-oo  
  
Danielle: That was great, now.Judges?  
  
Albus: Well Done, Well Done. Miss Granger, I shall give you 10, for you knew all the words and you had the right melody.  
  
Prof. McG: Oooooh! Fabulous! Simply Magnificent! I give you a 10, too, Miss Granger  
  
Prof. Snape: Miss Granger for a Gryffindor, you were okay, so I give you.8  
  
Audience: Oh. My. God.  
  
Steven: Well, that was impeccable. Up next we have Prof. Remus Lupin.  
  
(music starts)  
  
Prof. Lupin: I like big butts and I cannot lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste  
You get sprung!  
  
(audience screams)  
  
Danielle: Remus is it?  
  
Lupin: Yes.  
  
Danielle: May I call you Remmie?  
  
Lupin: No  
  
Danielle: Great. Remmie, that was fab-you-lous! Judges?  
  
Albus: Fantastic, Remus, Simple Magnificent. I'll give you a ten, because, indeed, I do like Big Butts and at times I do get sprung.  
  
McG: Remus, that was great. I give you a ten.  
  
Snape: :::is still humming to the music::: Oh, What? Oh.ummm. 10  
  
Steven: Great, up next we have Lord Voldemort!! (Voldie from her on out)  
  
(audience screams)  
  
(music starts)  
  
Voldie: I'm a Barbie girl  
In a Barbie World  
It's fantastic  
My Boobs are plastic!! (ATT: I don't know if those words are right, but I like them!)  
  
Danielle: ummm. okay. Judges?  
  
Albus: Voldie, I hate you so a big fat ugly ZERO!!  
  
McG: ZERO  
  
Snape: ZERO  
  
Steven: Well that wraps it up for this round.  
  
Danielle: And the scores are Harry Potter with 17 points, Draco Malfoy with 16, Hermione Granger with 28, Remus Lupin with 30, and Voldie with 0.  
  
Steven: Next round we will have Hermione Granger, Remus Lupin, and Harry Potter.  
  
Danielle: See you next round!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That's my fic! Hope ya like. I dedicate this to aliensmile13, read her fics!! 


	2. Snape bursts into song

ATT: Finally! Chapter 2! Disclaimer: J.K. owns all things Harry Potter, Hilary Duff, Spice Girls, a person, and Play own the songs. MTV owns SW?K I however own Funnyus White!! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Round Two  
  
Danielle: Hi. Welcome Back to Say What? Karaoke: Hogwarts Style.  
  
Steven: Now we move on to round two.  
  
Danielle: Our singers are Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Remus Lupin.  
  
Steven: And don't forget our judges are: Albus Dumbledore for accuracy, Minerva McGonagall for vocals, and Severus Snape for overall performance.  
  
Danielle: Our first singer is Hermione Granger, singing 'Little Voice' by Hilary Duff  
  
Hermione: Won't tell you what I'm thinking  
  
Cuz it's not the same thing you're thinking too  
  
You could say I got a best friend  
  
And she's always telling me what to do  
  
She's out of sight, easy to find  
  
She's in the front of my mind  
  
The little voice in my head won't let me forget  
  
The little voice in my head is never mislead  
  
All of this noise is what keeps me from making a mess  
  
The little voice in my head just won't let me get with you  
  
Audience: Woohoo! Go Hermione! Go Hermione! It's your birthday, it's your birthday.  
  
Steven: Well, then. Let's see what our judges have to say.  
  
Albus: Well done, Miss Granger, Well Done. I say, I shall give you a 9.  
  
McG: Oh, Miss Granger, how lovely! 10 it is!  
  
Snape: *sings* At first I was afraid, I was petrified.  
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.  
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong.  
But I grew strong, and I learned how to get along!  
  
But I grew strong, and I learned how to get along!  
  
And so you're back! From outer space!  
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.  
I should have changed those stupid locks;  
I should have made you leave your key,   
If I'd have known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me *stops singing*  
  
Everyone: *laughs until they turn blue in the face*  
  
Snape: Holy Crap! *clears throat* umm... I give you a 10. *walks off stage*  
  
Danielle: *tries not to laugh* That was very...interesting.  
  
Steven: Our next contestant is Remus Lupin singing "Wannabe" by ..the Spice Girls?!?!  
  
Remus: Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
  
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
  
really really wanna zigzag ha.  
  
Steven: Right, then. Judges?  
  
Albus: Remus, how could you? *puts head in hands and shakes head* you sang the song of death. Ah well, I suppose a 5 will do.  
  
McG: *cries* hiccup! 4. *cries*  
  
Snape: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha  
  
Danielle: Severus?  
  
Snape: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha  
  
Danielle: SEVERUS SAMANTHA SNAPE!  
  
Snape: *gasp* Danielle! I trusted you! *cries and runs off stage*  
  
Everyone: SAMANTHA! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....  
  
(3 days, 6 hours, 8 minutes, and 10 seconds later.)  
  
Everyone: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! ha!  
  
Danielle: I guess we'll have to get a new judge.  
  
Snape: Stop! Wait! *rushes to stage* My name is no longer Severus Samantha Snape, it is Funnyus White! *waves papers in everyone's face* hahahahahaha! You can't laugh at me now! Anyways, I give Lupin a 10, because I love the Spice Girls.  
  
Steven: right, then. Next Up we have Harry Potter, singing "I must not chase the boys" by Play.  
  
Harry: Won't someone tell me what is happening' to me why am I so misunderstood  
  
why can't they see  
  
now I'm caught between the devil and the angel that I used to be  
  
they say I'll understand it all in good time  
  
but age ain't nothing but a number in my mind  
  
goin' crazy with this push me, pull me  
  
caught between wrong and right  
  
I wanna give in to the woman in me  
  
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be  
  
the moral of the story is I got no choice  
  
I must not chase the boys  
  
Danielle: *whistes* Woohoo! *claps*  
  
Audience: *blink blink*  
  
Steven: Does anyone hear crickets chirping? Anyways.Judges??  
  
Albus: Difficult, Very Difficult. I say a 9.  
  
McG: Brilliant! Bravo! 10, indeed!  
  
Funnyus White (Snape): How awful! But, I'll give you a 2 for trying.  
  
Danielle: Our scores are now Hermione Granger with 29, Remus Lupin with 19, Harry Potter, with 21.  
  
Steven: The next round will be Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ That was chapter 2! I hope ya'll like it. I based Funnyus White on Sirius Black. aliensmile13, that was for you! 


	3. Oh My God TWINS!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some CD's and an Orland Bloom poster...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Danielle: Hey guys! It's now the next round of the Say What Karaoke:  
Hogwarts Style  
show  
Steven: That's right! And today we have Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.  
Danielle: And just to remind you our judges are Albus Dumbledore for  
accuracy,  
Minerva McGonagall for vocals, and Severus Snape for  
overall performance.  
Steven: Right, now one with the show!  
Danielle: Up first me have Harry Potter singing..Dancing Queen by A-Teens  
(((A/N: Rae, my beta, and I think that the A-Teens are scary..))))  
Harry: You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen  
Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for the place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king  
Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance...  
Danielle: Right then..Judges..  
Albus: Harryson! You sang the other song of death! For that you get  
a...a.2!!!! *wails*  
McG: Mr. Potter. I am not pleased to inform you that you have received a  
4..How could you bring this shame on Gryffindor house?  
Funnius/Snape: Well. Potter.You have actually done well..10! Bray-vo! Bray-  
vo!  
Steven: Right then.anyways.Harry's score is now a 16.  
Danielle: Now before Hermione Granger's performance, we have two special  
guests...  
Steven: That's right, Danielle. Our first guest is.Draco Malfoy!  
Audience: (female members) *cheers, whistles, and Oh. My. God's all around*  
Draco: *comes running onto the stage* Hey! How ya'll doing? Like I care!  
HAH!  
Danielle: Now Draco will be singing a duet with our other guest.Tom Felton!  
Audience: *crickets* (random person) Who the hell is that?  
(((A/N: These ARE wizards and witches!))))  
Steven: uhhh.Tom! Come on out!  
Tom: *comes on stage and sees Draco* HOLY SHIT!  
*music starts*  
Draco: How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
Leading you down into my core  
Where I've become so numb without a soul  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home  
Tom: (Wake me up)  
Draco: Wake me up inside  
Tom: (I can't wake up)  
Draco: Wake me up inside  
Tom: (Save me)  
Draco: Call my name and save me from the dark  
Tom: (Wake me up)  
Draco: Bid my blood to run  
Tom: (I can't wake up)  
Draco: before I come undone  
Tom: (Save me)  
Draco: Save me from the nothing I've become  
Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life  
Tom: (Wake me up)  
Draco: Wake me up inside  
Tom: (I can't wake up)  
Draco: Wake me up inside  
Tom: (Save me)  
Draco: Call my name and save me from the dark  
Tom: (Wake me up)  
Draco: Bid my blood to run  
Tom: (I can't wake up)  
Draco: before I come undone  
Tom: (Save me)  
Draco: Save me from the nothing I've become  
Frozen inside without your touch without your love  
Darling only you are the life among the dead  
Tom: All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
Draco: I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
Tom: Without a thought without a voice without a soul  
Draco: (Don't let me die here)  
Tom: There must be something more  
Draco: Bring me to life  
Tom: (Wake me up)  
Draco: Wake me up inside  
Tom: (I can't wake up)  
Draco: Wake me up inside  
Tom: (Save me)  
Draco: Call my name and save me from the dark  
Tom: (Wake me up)  
Draco: Bid my blood to run  
Tom: (I can't wake up)  
Draco: before I come undone  
Tom: (Save me)  
Draco: Save me from the nothing I've become  
Audience: *cheers* (females) *swoons*  
Steven: That was tight, yo!  
Draco: Riiiiiight..now will someone please tell me who the hell this guy  
is???  
Tom: Who am I? Who am I? I am Tom Felton! I am an actor in Harry Potter  
movies! I play.well I play you!  
Draco: What. The. Hell.  
Danielle: Moving on! Up next we have Hermione Granger singing...Britney  
Spears?!?!?!  
Hermione: Oh baby, baby  
How was I supposed to know  
That something wasn't right here  
Oh baby, baby  
I shouldn't have you go  
And now you're out of sight, yeah  
Show me how you want it to be  
Tell me baby cause I need to know now,  
oh because  
My loneliness is killing me (and I)  
I must confess I still believe (still believe)  
When I'm not with you I lose my mind  
give me a sign  
hit me baby one more time  
Steven: *singing* My loneliness is killing me! I must confess I sti---  
*realizes that he is the only one singing*  
Audience: *crickets* *laughter*  
Danielle: Steven! You sang Britney Spears!  
Steven: Ummm...Judges???  
Albus: Ms. Granger, I thoroughly enjoyed your performance and although it  
was.*shudder* Britney Spears, I give you and 8.  
McG: Oh, Well done! Well done! I have given you a 9! *starts humming the  
song*  
Danielle: *shudder* Scary.Snapers?  
Snape/Funnius: Don't call me Snapers..*mutters*  
Steven: Didn't catch that.  
Snape: 10 ok!  
Danielle: Riiight.anyways that brings her score to 27, and Harry Potter  
with a 16, so that means out winner is Hermione Granger!  
Hermione: *fake tears* I just wanna thank all my friends.well, that would  
be Harry and Ron, maybe not Harry so much as I just beat him at a Karaoke  
contest..and I would like to thank Prof. Snape who taught me the song..  
Audience: *laughter x 10*  
Hermione: ...and my parents and I would like to thank Merlin!  
Danielle: Well, that concludes our Say What? Karaoke: Hogwarts Style.Tune  
in next time for Harry's Revenge!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Hey!-  
I would like to thank Rae, Cas, Joce, and **Brian** *sigh* and I would  
also like to thank.all my readers, and I will be posting Harry's Revenge  
soon! In which Harry well.has revenge!  
-Sunny! 


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